all the gifts the Republicans have been giving Democrats lately,
I think we should change Christmas to Democratsmas. I know: there's
been a big hue and cry about taking Christ out of Christmas,
and here I am replacing him with Democrats. That's probably heretical
to some. Others might say the energy and time spent by the Christian
Right boycotting stores with generic holiday messages is heretical.
Instead of censoring holiday expressions, shouldn't the Christian
Right be fighting the poverty that has risen in leaps and bounds
since President Bush took office? Or, as one ex-Congressman
put it, shouldn't it be working toward putting Christ back
into war planning? Maybe someone took what's right out of the
That brings us back to Democratsmas. New revelations about
deceitful war planning are among the great bounty of gifts
the Republicans have showered on the largely ungrateful Dems.
Gifts like the indictments of key Republicans, investigations
into a dozen Abramoff cronies, and record-low presidential
approval ratings. Gifts like Katrina evacuees, on the eve of
the holidays --- excuse me, on the eve of Christmas --- sweating
the housing subsidies that a stingy Administration and Republican-controlled
Congress seek to end.
But do Democratic leaders use these to their advantage? Do
they unwrap these goodies and hold them up for the all the
world to see? Do they build a coherent case against the Republicans?
For months leading up to Democratsmas, Dems have been acting
like greedy children, tearing open one gift after another and
tossing them in a heap. And they whine and complain like spoiled
"Get out of Iraqnow or I'll hold my breath 'til I turn
blue," they say. And, "I didn't want to vote for
the war; they tricked me."
Yes, they're right; we have to get out (though I'd argue for
a gradual withdrawal.) And Congress was tricked. It did not
have at least two crucial bits of information that Bush had
in the buildup to the war, according to recent reports. One
was the early discrediting of our source on the so-called mobile
biological weapons labs and the other was a report, presented
to Bush 10 days after 9/11, which showed Saddam was not involved
in the attacks.
But, really. If the Dems would just stop throwing tantrums
and look around the room, they'd see that we were all tricked.
And we're mad about it. Dems are too busy backpedaling and
impatiently demanding an early withdrawal from Iraq to hear
This season Americans are gathered around the hearth, singing
as one, according to recent polls, like never before. Our carols
ring out across the land: We like Bush less now than we did
Clinton at this same time in his tenure. We think the country
is seriously off-track. We want Congress to ask more questions
about the president's policy in Iraq. And, crucially, if an
election were held today, polls show, more of us would vote
for a Democrat --- any Democrat --- than a Republican. But
the Democrats are throwing these advantages away.
If Santa's elves worked an extra month, they couldn't make
the pile of toys Democrats have been handed: The rampant culture
of ethics violations. The no-bid contracts for hurricane and
Iraq rebuilding. The disappearance of billions of Iraq reconstruction
dollars. The president's recent portrayal of 11 Iraqi battalions
(which was later discounted as optimistic to the point of magical
To help Democrats make the most of Democratsmas this year,
I've reworded a popular Christmas carol. Democrats everywhere:
clip and save!
The 12 Days of Democratsmas
On the twelfth day of Democratsmas the Republicans gave to
Twelve Republicans under investigation,
Eleven Iraqi battalions cowering,
Tens of thousands of Katrina evacuees
still not settled,
9/11 Report recommendations being ignored,
$8 billion in Iraq gone missing,
Seven (or so) secret sites a-torturing,
Six Abramoff-bilked Indian tribes hurting,
Five golden presidential vacation weeks,
45 million uninsured Americans,
Three top indicted Republicans,
Two thousand, one hundred thirty-plus dead American soldiers,
And a Constitution under siege.
Once upon a time, a Democratic president handed the Republicans
a smallish gift, a little blue dress stained with a whisper
of gossip. Just a rag, really. Did the Republicans fuss and
kvetch? No. They took that little dress and put on a show,
the likes of which this country had never seen. They mounted
a five-year, Broadway-style, big-budget spectacle. Hypnotized,
the voters turned against a popular president who had led us
through a time of economic growth and prosperity.
Face it, what the Republicans had on Clinton is nothing compared
to what we have against them now. Democrats! Grow up, bundle
up, and head out into the cold, singing your song loud and